


The end of the road

by adamngoodbatch (sibbed)



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Getting Together, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Eddie Diaz, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Evan "Buck" Buckley, Presumed Dead, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, U.S. Navy SEAL Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/pseuds/adamngoodbatch
Summary: It had been a rainy Sunday morning when Eddie Diaz disappeared without a trace. Or maybe with too many traces. Buck knows Eddie had tried to leave some clues behind, crumbs, like Hansel and Gretel, but whoever had taken him, made a mess of everything, dispersing the evidence to the wind.For the prompt: TAKE ME INSTEAD from my Bad Things Happen Bingo Card
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917172
Comments: 24
Kudos: 150
Collections: Bad Things Happen





	1. Darkness Visible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spinningincircles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinningincircles/gifts).



> Non-linear narrative, the jumps are clarified with arrows going back ⇜ and forward ⇝

_So it’s come to this._

Buck feels the light coming from behind him through his closed eyelids; mud and leaves and rocks below his knees; icy steel binding his wrists; his chest aching with every breath. 

_This is where I end._ He listens to the silence that engulfs him and opens his eyes.

⇜⇜⇜

It had been a rainy Sunday morning when Eddie Diaz disappeared without a trace. Or maybe with too many traces. Buck knows Eddie had tried to leave some clues behind, crumbs, like Hansel and Gretel, but whoever had taken him, made a mess of everything, dispersing the evidence to the wind.

The police are as helpful as they can be, with Athena pulling every contact she has and pushing them to comply. The problem is there’s no ransom, no proof of life, no explanation behind the kidnapping, and Buck is sent on a loop. 

Christopher is heartbroken and Buck made promises he doesn’t know if he will be able to keep.

Promises to stay away from danger.

Promises to not interfere.

Promises.

Vain promises.

⇝⇝⇝

A voice comes from behind Buck, but he can barely hear it.

“Buckley?”

_That voice._ _Locate it. Pay attention._

The voice is inquiring. And Buck doesn’t understand: why the question, the interrogation. It’s him. Of course, it’s him. Who else could he be?

⇜⇜⇜

Time flies by. Chris keeps asking about Eddie and when he will be coming back to them. Buck is running out of things to say. 

Then one night, one exceptionally difficult night, Christopher asks one more time. Isabel looks at Buck with pleading eyes. It seems she’s out of answers too.

He takes a deep breath and pats Chris’ curls. He plants a kiss at the top of his head and whispers, “I’m going to do everything and anything in my power to bring him back, Chris, I promise.”

And this promise, this particular promise he intends to keep.

Two weeks have passed from Eddie’s kidnapping when Buck loses it. He lashes out at the whole team. Bobby stares at him; mouth gaping, voice caught in his throat, mute. There’s nothing he can say to calm Buck down and that’s a fact.

Bobby gives Buck a week off without it even being requested, and Buck only thanks him, grabs his stuff, and leaves the station without looking back.

⇝⇝⇝

Someone leans on him. There’s a hand on Buck’s shoulder and a whisper in his ear. “It’s ok. It’s almost over.” 

_Over,_ the word echoes in his mind. The air is frosty and refuses to enter Buck’s lungs. “Almost.” The pain as he breathes indicates a pair of fractured ribs, his face is intact and he might have a broken wrist.

“Are you still with us, Buckley?” There are so many questions being asked and Buck can’t answer them.

_How frustrating will this get?_ “Come closer.”

⇜⇜⇜

There’s a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy and Buck decides to call him. He needs all the help he can get and if that means digging into his long-forgotten past, then so be it. After two weeks, the police are useless. Not even Athena trusts her coworkers to find Eddie. 

So Buck calls his guy.

At first, he finds himself on a wild-goose chase that never seems to end. He wastes almost a week running around, getting nothing out of anyone. Athena calls him every night to check in. To check in on the progress of the hunt. 

To check in on him.

His answer is always the same: “Athena, I’m trying.”

⇝⇝⇝

“I can’t,” the voice teases and a cackle escapes their mouth.

“No. You don’t want to.” Buck hurries himself not to beg and searches for a lie in the back of his mind. _Please. Please. Come closer. Let me get to you._ “Why are you laughing?”

“Because you still believe you are in control here.”

“And I’m not.”

“You are most definitely not.”

Silence again and Buck shivers at the sharpness of the cold air surrounding him. He pushes a little further. “This needs to stop now.”

“You don’t want that, Buckley.”

“Yeah,” he spits out, “I do.”

⇜⇜⇜

Their screaming match can be heard from outer space. Athena decides to follow a lead that Buck disregarded before. He knows she won’t get anywhere. His guy told him so. He gives up on trying to convince her to drop it after his voice is hoarse from yelling at the phone.

She wants him to go back home. But he will keep going while Christopher is safe with his family and friends.

He has a promise to keep. 

There’s no sign of Eddie yet, but it feels like he’s getting closer.

There’s a shift in the air. Buck feels like there are guns pointed at his head constantly.

⇝⇝⇝

“No, you really, really don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would be the end of the road.”

“I’d like it to be the end of the road,” Buck says playfully.

“Oh. No, no, Buckley. Don’t. You seriously don’t want that.” And the voice laughs maniacally at him.

Buck hears a muffled scream and he closes his eyes. 

_Air. Where on Earth has air gone to?_ His broken ribs and his swollen wrist start screaming at him. _Pay attention._ He shakes his head violently, almost growling, and his sweaty curls are sticking to his forehead.

“You are not the one in control here.” 

“I know,” Buck says and it comes out sad and melancholic. “Believe me, I know.”

“So...”

⇜⇜⇜

A text message changes everything.

_8 pm. Temescal Canyon Park. Come alone, Buckley._

⇝⇝⇝

“So...” The end of the road is here and Buck is planning to enjoy it. “Let him go. Take me instead. It’s me who you want.”

“Ah, so you know.” Surprised, the voice sounds surprised. _Why?_

“Yes, I know. It’s me who you want, not him.”

“Are you sure, then?”

_Why do you keep asking questions?_ “Yes. Let him go.”

The voice is moving, but not closer, it’s going away and Buck’s heart rate rises and his superficial and painful breaths become even shallower.

“Do you- do you really believe I didn’t know?” _Don’t touch him._ “I swear, if you do something-“

“Cute. No, Buckley, I won’t touch him.” The voice is far away and sounds disgusted. A door creaks open.

⇜⇜⇜

The text and the location are certain confirmation that it was him and not Eddie that they wanted. It’s enough to drive Buck to move along with his plan. He takes the precaution to let Athena know he has a lead, but he chooses to refrain from giving her any details. He’s going to have to do this alone if he wants Eddie safe.

He calls the guy that knows another guy and gets ready for the worst.

⇝⇝⇝

“If you touch a hair on his head I will find a way to dismember your whole body. With my teeth,” Buck growls.

“We’ll see,” the voice replies.

_No. Don’t. Please._

The door from where the muffled screams were coming slams shut and another voice starts screaming like crazy. “Don’t. Don’t. Please. Let go. Please. Stop this.” 

Buck listens closely, he hears whispers and begging while someone is being dragged by his side. 

This voice is one he recognizes. “Stop. Stop this. You don’t get to do this. Please. Please, stop,” Eddie pleads. 

Buck turns his head and sees him: beaten and broken, tears clearing a path down his face through the dirt. It’s been days. Weeks, even. Have they fed him? Cleaned him? Beat him? Tortured him? The thought makes him sick.

“Please,” Eddie’s last words before his knees are forced to hit the floor. Buck gets to see his image with precision: blood over his face mixed with tears and dirt, bruises covering almost every inch of exposed skin. His neck has deep cuts and seems to be very swollen.

Eddie looks at him, smiles painfully, and winks. The gesture is so simple and full of meaning that Buck’s heart stops for a second. He stares at him. Hours turned to minutes turned to seconds turned to milliseconds turned to nothing. He smiles.

⇜⇜⇜

The scenarios that run through Buck’s mind vary in degrees of horribleness and desperation. From finding Eddie’s body on the side of the road to finding Eddie unscathed and just all being a big misunderstanding. _Right, as if these guys are going to just laugh it off._

He packs a bag and throws it in the back of his Jeep. Gun ready in its holster and phone plugged and charging, he ventures on the road to the rendezvous point at the park in West Los Angeles.

⇝⇝⇝

“They are...” Buck starts to talk. He wants to reassure Eddie. He wants to make everything better. He wants to let him know that-

_Bang._

Interruption. He hears the shot coming from behind them. From light, from death, from everything that’s wrong in the world. 

Eddie still smiles as the bullet pierces through him. 

Buck’s eyes trail a path along his body, searching, making a list. Not the head. Not the heart. Not a limb. Not the neck. Not anything. But where? Hours turned to minutes turned to seconds turned to milliseconds turned to… blood.

Eddie still smiles as his body touches the floor. 

The fall is slow and terrible and heart-wrenching and bloody. Buck throws his body to cover Eddie. From what, he doesn’t know. The bullet already left its trail and the blood is already pouring out in huge red waves.

⇜⇜⇜

The ride is silent and overwhelming. Images of all of the what-ifs play on a loop in his mind. He drives without a care in the world. He’s an automaton. The circumstances surrounding whatever is about to go down don’t matter to him. Nothing matters to him anymore. He only needs to get from point A to point B.

_Eddie, I’m on my way._

Eddie is his destination.

⇝⇝⇝

The engines sound near. 

_Help._

_On. Its. Way._

“That was just a taste, Buckley,” the voice whispers near Buck’s ear. A hand presses on his broken ribs, deeply, with precision, and then vanishes.

White noise, white light, white. White. Buck shakes and shakes; head, body, wrists.

Far away, very far away, but very close, very, very close, sirens and shots and-

_Bang bang bang bang bang._ Explosions and lights. Blue and white and red and fire. Explosion and-

Buck is trembling against Eddie’s body, silent and cold.

No light, no life, no death, no mind, no body. No more blood.

A car stops beside them, body against body. Eddie goes lax, trembling underneath Buck; tears on his face and blood over his shirt. _What should I do? What was I supposed to do?_ Both bodies lie next to each other, shaking. One saying goodbye, the other not letting go. _My hands are tied. Hold on. Please._

Two hands are picking him up and Buck sits on his heels, head hanging low, chin grazing his chest, eyes firmly shut to avoid seeing the tears, the dirt-

The blood.

⇜⇜⇜

Buck parks his jeep by the entrance to the park. Someone taps his window with the barrel of a gun three times. He can’t see the face behind the glass, but he recognizes the gesture. He unlocks the door and they open it from the outside for him while he puts his hands up in the air.

_Take it easy, Buckley. One step at a time._

His feet touch the ground and he’s led away from his Jeep.

A gun cocks by his side and Buck attempts to grab his own. They have him on his knees before he can make half a movement. His gun is taken away from him while his wrists are tied behind his back. Buck counts how many men are around him. _One, three, five._

The first blow goes to his ribcage and Buck lands face-first onto the cold, damp dirt. He’s been kicked like this before. He knows everything that is coming next.

They grab him by the curls and lift him until they have him kneeling again. Buck still doesn’t know what they want from him, but he’ll do whatever it takes to get Eddie back.

The kicks keep coming. He will surrender his own life for Eddie in the blink of an eye. He keeps falling to the ground and being lifted in an unending repetition of kicks and punches.

An engine roars behind him.

Buck closes his eyes and braces for the darkness to come.

⇝⇝⇝

“It’s okay. Hey. Hey. Listen to me. It’s going to be ok. I’m here, Buck. I’m here.”

_Oh. Athena. Athena is here. Listen to that, Eddie? She’s here. We’re safe now._

“He has to be okay and he- he has to go back home. With me. With us. But- but he was so- they did that to him,” he gasps, his ribs screaming in pain. “And I wasn’t there, again. I was never there. And he was here- in the end. He was here,” Buck looks up to Bobby, “with me.”

Athena tries to get Buck’s wrists loose. She attempts to soothe him while he keeps up the fight in him, he wiggles in her arms. He fights her embrace and his restraints. He fights to keep his eyes on Eddie and he fights to stay there, his mind present in this moment.

“He smiled and winked at me. He winked. He knew. He- knew. And I- I didn’t, ‘Thena. I didn’t. So he has to go back home and then- He needs to- come back to me. And then- then-” A strangled gasp escapes Buck. “Then.”

But Eddie’s dead.

And that’s the end of the road.


	2. Guiding Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck sits on the curb, two blocks away from the hospital, and considers his options. He could go back to his place and reclaim it. He could go to Eddie’s and try and start putting things in order for them to have a comfortable and stocked up home to go back to when Eddie finally gets to leave the hospital which will definitely happen soon, according to what his doctor said yesterday.
> 
> But in all honesty what Buck truly wants is to go back into that room, take Eddie by the hand and squeeze him in the tightest hug they could ever share. A hug that’s been eluding them since forever ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the comfort for all the hurt I've put you through.

The hallway is empty as it always is at three in the morning. It’s the only time Buck dares come in. He wanders through the hospital in a haze, asking for a miracle from a God he doesn’t believe in. Bobby’s sitting on a chair beside the bed. 

“Can we talk?” Buck whispers to Bobby from the entrance, peeking his head through the door. 

“Of course, Buck,” Bobby replies, stretching his limbs, “let’s go outside, okay?”

Buck settles on a chair right outside the room and Bobby takes a seat beside him.

“We’ve been worried about-” Bobby starts, but Buck can’t listen to whatever Bobby is about to say. There are so many thoughts building up inside of him, and he needs to get them out of his chest before it’s too late. Before there’s no one left to forgive him.

“I lied to you, Bobby.”

“Huh?”

“I lied to you.”

“About?”

“The SEALs thing. I didn’t drop it, I wasn’t-” Buck bends over, planting his elbows on his knees, and he winces at the movement. He nestles his head between his hands and runs his hands through his hair. He tugs lightly and takes a deep breath. “I mean, I did, but it wasn’t… remember how I told you about flipping that switch and turning off every natural, human instinctive emotion? I didn’t want to do it anymore, but…”

“It’s a non-issue, Buck.”

“It’s an issue for Eddie that is now fighting for his life because I lied to you. It’s an issue for Chris that almost lost the only parent he has left because of my stupid lies.”

“Evan, stop. First of all, no, luckily Eddie isn’t fighting for his life. Second, it wasn’t your fault some deranged person decided to plan some absurd revenge plot against you.”

“But-”

“No. No buts. We can talk about this, of course, we can, but not like this. Not if you’re going to blame yourself for what happened. You can only blame yourself for taking the risk of going completely alone to a meeting with the people that had kidnapped Eddie and actually wanted you dead…”

“They didn’t- they didn’t want me dead though…”

“Whatever, I don’t care, they are gone, and we have Athena and her sneaky ways with your phone to thank for it.”

“Bobby…”

“Look, it was a tragedy. It was a very bad experience, we all suffered for it. You and Eddie most of all.”

“Eddie most of all. All I had to endure was, what? A few strikes to my ribs? Being yanked around for a bit? Eddie- Eddie went through something that I don’t wish upon my worst enemy, Bobby.”

“Yes, and he’ll need time for healing. But he’s alive, he’s here and he’s been asking for you every single day.”

“I can’t.”

“We know.”

“I can’t.”

“We know,” Bobby insists, “and he knows too. He’s sleeping now if you want to stay with him for a bit.”

“I don’t know…”

Bobby stands up and puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “He wants you here, but more importantly, he needs you here. You can’t keep avoiding him forever.”

“I can try,” Buck grimaces.

  
  


The night sky is not as dark as he's expecting when he steps outside the hospital. Buck wants to go home, but there isn’t one place out there to fit the description anymore. His loft has been abandoned for the last weeks. Maddie and Chim wouldn’t appreciate him barging in at four in the morning. The one place he wants to go now, the one place that would bring him peace in this dire moment, doesn’t have in it the two people he needs to make himself feel better; Eddie’s house has also been empty for the last weeks.

Buck sits on the curb, two blocks away from the hospital, and considers his options. He could go back to his place and reclaim it. He could go to Eddie’s and try and start putting things in order for them to have a comfortable and stocked up home to go back to when Eddie finally gets to leave the hospital which will definitely happen soon, according to what his doctor said yesterday.

But in all honesty what Buck truly wants is to go back into that room, take Eddie by the hand and squeeze him in the tightest hug they could ever share. A hug that’s been eluding them since forever ago. A hug that will let Eddie know that the way Buck feels isn’t just friendship. It’s all-encompassing, never-ending, unconditional _love_.

Buck wanders aimlessly around the city for a while until he finds himself at the front door of Eddie’s house. It’s the only reasonable thing he could do for them. He uses his key to open the door and finds the silence inside to be soothing. There’s dust on every surface and a mess in every room. Buck starts slow, mopping the floors and dusting the countertops and tables. He does the laundry, cleans the fridge, and changes the sheets on Eddie and Chris’ beds. He picks up the mail and organizes it over the table; he takes out the trash and checks if the backyard needs some work. 

It does. Of course, it does. No one has taken care of this house since-

It’s nine a.m when he finishes with the chores and the house starts looking decent enough.

The next step is getting groceries. He makes a list of everything he had to throw away and thinks about all of Eddie and Chris’ favorite meals. He plans to spend the rest of the day cooking and meal-prepping.

The grocery store is empty when Buck walks in. He goes through every isle checking and re-checking his list: fruits, vegetables, chicken, eggs and milk, oats and cereal. His phone chimes in at ten a.m. while he’s in the self-checkout machine.

**Athena Grant**

_Where are you? Call me when you get this, please?_

Getting a text like this from Athena makes his heart skip a few beats.

He drops every bag in his trunk and drives straight to Eddie’s. He manages to put away all the groceries that needed to go in the fridge and freezer as he checks the time every two minutes.

His phone rings at ten-thirty a.m.

“I swear to you, if he doesn’t answer…”

Buck coughs to let her know he’s listening and voices out a timid “hey.”

“Evan Buckley.”

“Athena Grant.”

“Don’t mock me, boy.”

“What happened?”

“Eddie’s being discharged today.”

Buck is speechless. He knew this was coming his way, he’s been preparing the house for it for the last few hours, but he never imagined that today was going to be the day. He hasn’t had the time to prepare himself. He needs more time. He needs to get the house and the food and everything ready and then make himself disappear.

“Buck?”

“I’m here.”

“Good, because Eddie is being released in a few hours. Where are you?”

“Ho- at Eddie’s.”

“Great, stay there? Bobby will drive him home.”

“Christopher?”

“With Isabel, he’ll be going home tonight after Eddie’s settled in.”

“Okay.”

“Buck…”

He hangs up before Athena can say anything else and turns on the stove to start cooking the ridiculous amount of food he bought.

Buck writes down a list of dishes, dividing them in two, the ones in the freezer and the ones in the fridge. Also, brownies and cookies, because of course he had to leave them with brownies and cookies. He puts the list up on the fridge’s door, letting the piece of paper be held by a magnet with a picture of Christopher.

He checks time and figures it’s still early, he’ll manage to avoid Eddie and Bobby. He grabs his keys and takes two steps towards the door when it slams open. In front of him, Eddie and Bobby are laughing. Buck feels incredibly out of place. Tears well up in his eyes and relief overwhelm him. Eddie's bruised and banged up pretty badly, but he's laughing and that is a sight Buck thought he’d never get to see again. His incandescent smile, his bright eyes, the way his voice reverberates all over Buck’s body. He thought he’d never get to have this again. And yet-

The world is being too forgiving with him. He doesn’t deserve this. There’s a reason he wanted to leave before they arrived. He doesn’t trust the good fortune the universe is delivering for him. He’s not ready for the retribution that is most definitely coming his way.

“You look good,” Buck mutters. The words stumble out of his mouth without his permission. “I mean…”

“I know what you mean. Thank you,” he beams at Buck. As Eddie's eyes search for something along Buck's face, he frowns. “Wait... were you leaving?”

“There’s food in the freezer. And in the fridge. And on the counter. Everything you might need for the next few days, I just-” Every cell on his body is telling him to run. Sprint through the door and don’t look back. _He’s safe_ , that’s all that matters.

It looks like Bobby can read his mind because he takes a step forward putting himself between Buck and the door. Eddie shifts from one foot to the other and reaches out to grab Buck’s hand. “Please, stay.”

Buck flinches and takes a step backward freeing himself from Eddie’s grasp.

Eddie turns on his feet to look at Bobby and nods. “We’ll manage. Thank you for bringing me home.”

“Call me if you need anything, Eddie,” Bobby pats him on the shoulder and passes the bag he’s been holding to Buck. “You, take this inside.”

Buck ducks his head sheepishly and takes the bag. He stumbles backward until Bobby closes the door behind him.

“I’m tired,” Eddie walks into his living room and throws himself on the couch. “I’m so tired.”

“You should sleep, then,” Buck replies while he walks into the kitchen to drop the bag beside the laundry basket, putting distance between them.

“Not that kind of tired, actually. I’m tired of being avoided by my best friend, you know? The one that risked his life to save mine. I’m tired of not talking to him.”

“Eddie…”

“No, Buck, don’t ‘Eddie’ me.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry? Because of course I fucking am. I’m so fucking sorry it breaks my heart to even consider the fact that-”

“What are you sorry for?”

“They kidnapped you. They beat you, torture you, I don’t-”

“Were you a part of any of those things?”

“No, of course not, but-”

“But?”

“It was my fault.”

“So you’re saying that because some lunatics wanted some sort of revenge against you because of something you did… what was it? Five years ago? Then I should be, what? Angry at you? I shouldn’t want you in my life?”

“Yes,” Buck whispers as he leans against the arch between the kitchen and the living room. He’s keeping his distance as best as he can. Clearly, Eddie is not buying any of this, he scoffs at Buck and drops his head on the cushion of the couch.

“Some ego you have.”

“They wanted to get to me.”

“But they got me,” Eddie clarifies. 

“Exactly,” Buck nods.

Eddie smiles at him. “Precisely.”

“So you are agreeing with me now?”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

“I-”

“You…”

“I clearly don’t,” Buck admits he can be a lot of things but stupid is not one of them. He can be dense and he might be good denying a thing or two, but regarding this particular subject, he knows for a fact that Eddie’s kidnapping had been entirely his fault.

“They got _me.”_

“Yes, I think the bullet wound in your abdomen is enough proof of that.”

“You know? That much time in a tiny room and a few days in the hospital gives a man a lot of time to think. Like, for once, I could actually stop and think about what happened and how it happened. Besides all the nightmares and night terrors and the flashbacks, I could really ponder about the ifs and the whens and the whys.”

“I-”

“No, I talk now, you listen. I’ve been asking to speak with you for a week, you only showed up when I was sleeping or drugged out of my mind as I’ve never been before, so no, I’m the one doing the talking now.”

Buck’s mouth hangs open and he takes a shaky breath. Keeping himself glued to the kitchen arch is proving to be difficult. He wants to reach out, grab and hold Eddie in any way he would allow. But Buck won’t, because he doesn’t deserve it. Eddie’s hurt and that’s all because of him.

“The things they said… At first, I was extremely confused, because they talked about you in a way that wasn’t- They weren’t talking about _you_ . But then I started to put two and two together. And yes, they wanted to get to you, but they didn’t want to get _you_. And they thought, God, they thought we were-” Eddie pauses and looks across the room, searching for Buck’s eyes. “Anyway. They were looking to take Chris too, but that night miraculously we had a change of plans and Chris wasn’t with me. So they took me. To get to you. Do you understand what I’m saying? Because if you don’t… maybe I have to spell it out for you?”

“Eddie…”

“Your _enemies_ thought that I was... your life partner? Husband? I don’t even know. But they thought we were a family. You and me, with Chris.”

“I’m so sorry, because all of this-” 

“And we are.”

“-it was all-”

“Because I’m-”

“-a misunderstanding-”

“-so fucking-”

“-because they _saw_ how I-”

“-in love with you.”

“-acted around you.” No, this is not happening. No. “What?”

Eddie groans as he sits up straight on the couch, but then a laugh escapes him. It sounds honest and pure and it makes Buck feel warm all over. “I told you I had a lot of time to think,” Eddie continues.

“You are?”

“I am.”

“And you realized it when you were-”

“I think I’ve known for a while that something wasn’t… But, I guess, yeah, when they talked about us it made sense. So much sense. Because I knew how I felt, but I was never sure if-”

“I felt the same.”

“Right, but if these people thought so, then…”

“But I did, Eddie. I did. God, I do. I do I feel the same. I- Since the very beginning, yes.”

“Good. Good. Now… Can you please come closer? I don’t- all I want from you- all I need from you right now is a hug,” Eddie asks from where he’s sitting and only shifts slightly on the couch. “Please.”

And that patented Diaz pleading eyes break Buck’s will in two. He pushes himself off the arch and takes two wobbly steps towards the couch. Eddie stands up abruptly and opens his arms. Buck stumbles into him and falls right into his chest. They clash in that embrace that’s been dodging them for years. Eddie’s hand on his waist burns and he clings even tighter as if he’s trying to fuse their bodies together. A sob follows another and tears stream down Buck’s face, pooling on Eddie’s shirt. Being held between two strong and forgiving arms, Buck loses all sense of time and space. 

He comes back to reality after who knows how long. He’s splayed out on the couch over Eddie and he feels small curled up inside Eddie’s embrace. There’s a gentle hand rubbing circles on his back while fingers run softly through his hair. Buck blinks a few times trying to find his bearings, he looks up and two brown eyes meet his gaze.

“Hi,” Eddie whispers.

“Hi. What time-”

“Too early? Not early enough? Late? I don’t know…” Eddie grabs his phone and checks the time. “Chris is coming in about an hour.”

“Oh. Okay, I should...” Buck tries to slip away from Eddie’s hold, but his grip is tight and a groan escapes his lips in frustration.

“Are you going somewhere?” Eddie cocks his head and pushes his hand firmly against Buck’s back, bringing him even closer to his chest.

“I guess not.”

“Damn right you’re not,” Eddie laughs as Buck collapses his whole weight on top of him. “Careful, though. I’m still-” 

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

They shift on the couch, Buck contorts to take off some of his weight from Eddie’s body. He pushes the cushions and focuses on locating his limbs in a way that makes room for Eddie to be as comfortable as he can be while sharing a tiny couch with him. 

“We need to talk, Eddie.”

“Yes, but- not tonight? Can we just… be? Together, like this... just for tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise. I need this, exactly this, and nothing more right now.”

“I have so many things to say.”

“Me too, but-”

“I know. I know,” Buck complies, nestling his head on Eddie’s shoulder, because right now he would give Eddie anything he asked for: if he wanted an airplane then Buck would just have to go to the airport and steal one for him.

“Good.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow,” Eddie agrees.

And Buck knows. He knows tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. They’ve been so close to losing each other so many times he’s lost count over the years. But this oath for tomorrow isn’t just a promise. It’s a pact between them: a pledge for their future, a commitment that they both intend to keep. 

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments feed my soul!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
> 
> Chapter two will be up soon.
> 
> Kudos and comments feed my soul!


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